And Now, A Word from My Cat

Me, Koniferous Clark

Me, Koniferous Clark

That strikingly attractive creature on the left is me, Koniferous Clark, known as Kona to humans. I might resemble an ordinary tortoise shell housecat, but I’m actually a member of the species Impus Demonicus. I worship the mischievous and merciless Goddess Mawroo.

The Oaf and his Mate

The Oaf and his Mate

I have two Familiars who do my bidding. I am fond of them, as long as they stay in line, though I often dream of how wonderful their livers must taste. I refer to my male Familiar simply as “the Oaf”, though his given name is Carlyle Clark. The Oaf and his mate make offerings to me in the form of fragrant fish-meat and hard fish pellets they retrieve from a bag. It’s not as good as antelope heart, rat blood, or rabbit brain, which I was born tasting, but it is acceptable fare.

The Obese One

The Obese One

There is another cat living here, an obese orange and white thing that pays no mind to spiritual matters. It cares only for hard fish pellets and long naps. I want to kill it, but Mawroo has forbidden this. She is partial to all felines, whether they worship her or not.

My voice is beautiful when I call Mawroo’s name. It is a bit baritone, a low-pitched plaintive wail. “Mawroo? Mawroo!” I say, and the Goddess answers in a voice only Demon Imps such as I can hear. The Familiars seem to enjoy this worship. They draw their lips back, show their teeth, and stroke my silken coat, saying “shhhh, shhhh, goooood kitteeeeee”.

I AM KONA!

I AM KONA!

I position myself each night by the moving glass wall in the Familiar’s place of food and plead to Mawroo. I long to roam the sacred hunting grounds in the wetlands behind this dwelling. The Familiars don’t understand. They never open the wall to let me out, well . . . almost never. Once the Goddess Mawroo presented an opportunity. She compelled the Oaf to leave the glass wall open. I was gone for three days. I brought back a gift of prey, a valiant mouse killed by my own two paws. The Oaf’s mate made a screeching noise, and the Oaf put the offering in that sweet-smelling can filled with something they call “garbage”. I will plunder that can, once I figure out how to open it, and offer its contents to Mawroo.

Mawroo has rules, which I follow relentlessly. For example, if an unattended cup filled with liquid is NOT knocked over, this is blasphemy. All bottle caps and other small objects must be batted into cracks and crevasses or beneath the large white box where the Familiars place open containers of fish-meat. Mawroo doesn’t care where I bat these offending objects as long as they are rendered irretrievable.

"The Book"

“The Book”

I sometimes overhear my Familiars speaking about something called “a book” the Oaf wrote. He calls it “The Black Song Inside”, which I’m certain was inspired by my own irresistible wail. I’ve heard the Oaf mention beings called “Atticus” and “Rosemary”. Evidently they are Pee Eyes, a term I find repulsive. The Goddess Mawroo is not mentioned in this “book”. If the Oaf had made Mawroo’s presence known to humans, I would be duty bound to suck his soul out as he slept and offer it, humbly and with great terror, to the Goddess herself. Thankfully, he did not, which is a relief. A good Familiar is not easy for a Demon Imp to come by. I am glad I can let him live.

NOTE: If you are human and own a mouse (oh how I envy you!), click it to purchase THE BLACK SONG INSIDE AT AMAZON

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One Response to And Now, A Word from My Cat

  1. I’m not sure exactly why but this website is loading extremely slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end?
    I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

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